I just burned off a 4 oz. piece of fried chicken

At least that is what Wii Fit Plus tells me.

I have had Wii Fit Plus for a couple of months, but haven't really used it.  I actually haven't used my Wii much in the last couple of months, but with my renewed motivation in losing weight, I've been wanting to be active.  On Saturday I took a 3 mile walk in the morning, but on Saturday the temp was only 80 degrees.  On Sunday, the heat came back and so did the Code Yellow/Orange climate conditions.  Yuck!  My asthma just can't handle that.

So I've dusted off my balance board and I am trying out the Wii Fit Plus.

Let me tell you - it officially rocks.  It has everything in the old Wii Fit, but it's really made it even more useful. 
1) It has added a lot more activities, in both the strength training and yoga areas as well as adding a new category called Training Plus.  Training Plus is basically a bunch of new games - and so far all of them have been hard.
2) They now have themed workouts.  These workouts are a group of 3 activities that target specific goals - like the tummy, arms, relaxing, overindulging, etc.  They are about 8 minutes long total, but it reduces the amount of time you spend trying to go from one activity to another.
3) You can combine activities into custom routines.  Once again, this cuts out all that time you spent switching from one activity to another (which face it - was a lot of time).  You can do this eithe rby selecting individual activities or by combining routines.  Fun!
4) It now estimates the number of calories burned.  So instead of just measuring minutes, you can measure the amount of calories burned.  This means if you have a specific burn target, you will know if you have reached it or not.  After you finish - they have this tool that will tell you what kind of food equivalent of what you burned - hence me burning off a piece of fried chicken. 

These enhancements have definitely improved the game.  And while I don't think the workout I get is similar in intensity to what I get from the EA Active - it's still a good workout when you are stuck inside.  So if you have a Wii and and a balance board - I recommend getting Wii Fit Plus.

Sweet Tooth

One of the things that I have learned over the past 3 years trying to lose weight is that I have a Sweet Tooth.  While there are many foods I love that aren't really great for me (cheese, butter, pasta, etc.) I would have to say I love nothing more than sugary/sweet things.  Seriously, my Sweet Tooth is so strong that it deserves her own name - oh what the hell - let's call her Dulci.

Dulci really loves cupcakes, ice cream, and chocolate.  When she doesn't get anything sweet - she bugs me all night and I can't sleep.  If you look at the weight change tracker on the side - you can see I fell off the wagon big time.  That happened in a large part because Dulci persuaded me that eating ice cream and gelato every day was the right thing to do. 

So I need to reign Dulci in.  It's not realistic of me to think that I can let Dulci go cold-turkey without dessert.  I think that is just asking for trouble.  So I have decided to go with something like a "You break it, You buy it" policy.  It's called, "You Crave It, You Make It"

From now one, if I want something sweet or desserty - I will have to make it.  This will require thinking ahead of time because I will need to make sure I have what I need on hand in order to make it - ingredients and tools.  It also means that I have to work to actually get my sweets made.  Let me tell you - making cupcakes are not easy.  I think in a past post I referred to a fat footprint - similar to a green footprint (for all the environmentalist).  Making my own desserts decreases the fat footprint on my body (although its probably more of a symbolic than actual reduction).  I'm also going to embrace my inner Sesame Street and insist on sharing my dessert bounty with the people around me.  When making sweet things - I will bring things in for my office mates, my sister, my friends.  That's not only satisfying Dulci, but it's increasing my karma.

In order to do this - I am actually ordering myself a ice cream maker attachment for my Kitchen Aid stand mixer.  I know - kind of counter intuitive, but I'm really excited about this.  I am dying to learn how to make ice cream, gelato, sorbet, and granitas.  There's something about making your own food that just makes it taste better, and you want that taste to last - so I've also found out that I tend to spread out the consumption of said food.  For example, I made awesome cupcakes for a co-worker the week before last.  I still have something like 6 in my fridge- and they are still good.  But I'm not eating them everyday - and that's progress.

Living life with Dulci can be hard, but I think that I am going to manage.

Eat, Pray, Love

Next weekend I will be going to see "Eat, Pray, Love" at the theater.  I first read the book 5 or 6 years ago for my book club.  At that time, I was struggling with the fact that my dad, who was born and raised Catholic and then accepted Lutheranism when he married my mom, had become a Buddhist.  As you can guess from the title, the book deals with spirituality, and I felt when reading it that I was beginning to understand why my dad needed to choose this new spiritual path.  I remember him visiting me and I actually recommended him reading it because I thought that he might see that I was trying to understand him better.  I don't know if he actually read it though.

With the movie coming out though, I decided to revisit the book, and I'm very glad I did.  This time I listened to the audiobook version, which is read by the author, Elizabeth Gilbert.  There's a certain luxury to having the author read the story to you.  They have the inside scoop on what feelings and thoughts the story is trying to tell and at what time and they are able to pull that into the reading.  It's more textured.  If I was talking in math terms, it's like going from two axis to three.

Listening to the book this time, I realized that the story wasn't just about pursuing spirituality.  It is the story of grief and how loss can force you to look inward and learn more about yourself.  It's the story about deciding to fight against depression and winning, as well as accepting that in order to love the world you need to learn to love yourself.  It's about learning how to let go of the things that hold you down from progress.  Spirituality is an element of the story, but I would say that it's more of a means of moving the story than a full out theme.  While the backstory of Elizabeth Gilbert felt darker, I think her climb out of that darkness felt much brighter.

Now I know that I'm not going to be able to do exactly what Elizabeth Gilbert did to make myself better.  While I would love to spend 4 months in Italy eating, I can't really picture myself moving there, and then to India, and then to Bali.  I need to find my own path - and I think that is what I have been doing for the last year or so.  But she does highlight some really useful tools that I think anybody can use.  My favorite - writing a petition to God about what you need, and then in your heart make a list about who will sign it.  It's remarkable what a big pep squad you have supporting you to be better when you just think about it.

I do recommend this book to people, expecially to people who may feel like they are lost in the dark.  It leaves you thinking, and it leaves you with hope.  But don't be surprised if the book is nothing like the movie - just enjoy the both of them for what they are.

The Hardest Thing to Say

I heartily disagree with Elton John, "Sorry" isn't the hardest thing to say.  Instead, I think its "I'm Awesome". 

I have no problem saying "I'm sorry".  At socceer practice, when I was younger.  I used to say "Sorry" every time I missed a ball when I was practicing with one of the goalies from the guy's team.  He finally stopped throwing the ball at me and said, "Emily, stop saying you're sorry to the ball.  It doesn't care."  Seriously - I could say I'm sorry like 25 times a minute if I had to.

But I have a hard time believing good things about myself.  Today at work, I'm working on a forecast.  I've created the model by myself and it's basically based on common sense.  Last year was the first we used this model and apparently, we came really close to our target.  When my co-worker told me that, I let my mouth hang open and just incrediously said, "Seriously?".  I couldn't believe it because internally I'm thinking that my model is just a bunch of spaghetti that I've thrown against the wall and amazingly some of it is sticking.  Instead of being all "OMG - why is it sticking?", shouldn't I be saying, "Why shouldn't it stick". 

I need to start reframing my thoughts though.  I need to start focusing on my strengths and what I am good at.  And I have a bunch - I'm good at recognizing patterns, I communicate well with kids, I'm a kickass cook and baker, I have fantastic rhythm, and my smile is "intoxicating" as one person recently wrote to me.

I need to start being my own Captain Awesome (although I really do love the original Captain Awesome).

The profile

I've had people on me for awhile about how I need to get back on the dating horse.  I'm sure I've spoken about it here.  And I've been reluctant (which is probably too nice of a word).  But for some reason this last week, I decided to sample the waters and put up a profile on a dating website.

And it kind of terrifies me that this profile represents who I am to others and will help them determine whether or not they think they will like me.  And what if my profile attracts the wrong people.  Am I appearing insincere or nervous?  Is that a good picture - does it make me look too fat or too skinny?  Should I even have a picture?  You want your profile to attract people, but you also don't want it to be a creative writing assignment.

I think I need help on this. 

Any volunteers??

Just some movie reviews

My last post was kind of ranty.  I don't really like ranting on my blog because then I find myself in a negative space and feel like I need to continue ranting - but that's not healthy.  So I took a break.  And in my break I saw a lot of movies.  So I thought I would jot down what I thought of them.

Letters to Juliet:  I dragged my dad to this movie when he was visiting from Mexico.  For some reason it decided to rain most of the time he was here - so one day we decided to go to the movies.  We had to decide between Iron Man and Letters to Juliet (L2J from now on).  For some reason my dad seemed a little more enthusiastic to see a rom com set in Italy than a comic super hero flick.    Anyways - this movie reminded me of  good old fashioned rom coms of the late 90's "While You Were Sleeping", "Knotting Hill", "Wedding Planner", "Sweet Home Alabama".  Fairly predictable plot about a girl satisfied with her life, but then some kind of event turns everything topsy turvy and suddenly that life ain't so great and she pursues a new one which leads to happily ever after.  Sigh.  Sweet.  I really liked it although it was nothing revolutionary (not that it was trying to be).  I think it was greatly aided by its location - ITALY!  Gorgeous settings and I really liked the Italian music - some of them Italian covers of classic American pop.  It was all so sweetly romantic, but not really sexual - so I was comfortable seeing it with my dad (who may or may not have fallen asleep).  If you like the classic rom coms - rent it!

Sex To The City 2:  I went with my friend K.  We had seen the last one together so it was natural that we would go see this one together.  I liked the last one because it really captured the grounded glamour that was in the series.  Yes, Carrie and company wears lots of Manolos - but that doesn't mean that there life is great.  The girls suffered from real problems - spousal infidelity, cold feet from partner, etc.  You could empathize with the girls.  You couldn't do that in this movie.  While I get the producers decision to go technicolor glam as a way to distract us from our economic problems similar to what was done during the depression, but I don't know if the original nature of the SATC material really lends itself from that complete breakage from real problems.  The movie was funny at times, but mostly shallow - shallow not in a good way.  Skip it - unless you are a huge fan of the series and must see it and be disappointed for yourself.

The A-Team:  I wasn't convinced that I was going to go see it until I spent two weeks staring at its ads on the side of the buses while waiting for my bus to arrive.  So I ended up taking my friend Leanne to go see it for her birthday - and I have to say that A-Team is a PERFECT summer flick.  And it did a very good job of adapting an old tv show for film.  I know they've done a lot of these in recent years and not all of them have been successfull - Miami Vice (too serious), Starsky and Hutch (too slapstick), Dukes of Hazzard (WTF).  But there have been a few to get it right (Mission Impossible, Charlie's Angels).  I think this was another one.  It has the right combo of action and comedy - and it took elements from the show and made them their own witout disrespecting/dismissing the source.  I think its unfortunate that it opened against the Karate Kid since the people who enjoyed the Karate Kid and A-Team in the 80's are probably the same population and Karate Kid was better to bring their kids to see (since suddenly the karate kid pre-puberty at age 11 instead of a horny 16 year old).  I know the critics were kinda trashing it by saying "its all just action sequences", but do you remember the show - it was all just action sequences.  Go see it - its Awesome!  And I want a sequel.

Killers:  I was really looking forward to this movie because in it Katherine Hiegl plays a kind of clumsy girl who stumbles into the world of professional killing - and I think her performance will kind of dictacte how well she will be as Stephanie Plum.  Based on this film, I think Hiegl will do the physical comedy great, I'm just hoping that when she does Stephanie Plum annoyed, she does it annoyed and not bitchy.  That was kind of the probelm with this movie.  When Hiegl character's got irritated, she got really bitchy - and she's not really appealing when she is in that mode.  I did really like Ashton in the film - which surprised me because I'm not really a big fan of Ashton.  But overall, I don't know if I was satisfied.  I felt like the film was trying to be a combo of Mr. and Mrs. Smith, Gross-Pointe Blank, Chuck, and Guess Who's Coming to Dinner, but it was like they took the relevant parts they needed from the movie and made them dull.  And it just kind of ended suddenly, like they realized what the running time was and just tacked something on that resolved everything.  But I did like the Heigl/Kutcher chemistry.  It was ok, and if you are going to see it, rent it. 

I don't know how many more movies I will check out this summer.  I definitely want to check out Eclipse and I want to see Toy Story 3, oh - and the trailers for Scott Pilgrim vs. the World have me intrigued.  So I'll let you know how those go.

I heart the Earth

By now everybody should know that its Earth Day.  I like Earth Day.  I like that we have a day that is supposed to celebrate what this third rock from the sun gives us.  The water, the trees, the sky, the animals, etc.

But I know that a lot of people view this as an atagonistic holiday.  A day granola chomping hippies created to make everybody feel bad about how much we are destroying this planet, blah blah blah!  And they get mean and crochety about it and start saying that they are going to do anti-positive things to help the planet and that those of us who are doing things are just deluding ourselves.  And yes, I know that they may not actually do some of the stuff that they threaten - but they've still put that negativity out to the universe.

All I have to say is doing something is better than doing nothing at all. 

People are deluding themselves if they think that we're going to have this endless supply of resources.  We don't.  If you think of the big pictures, it's a small spec of finite material.  Someday it's going to run out.  We may not be alive for that, but it's going to happen.

The other thing that is going to happen if we keep on going the way we are going - we're going to erode our own way of life.  Have people seen the pictures of people living in favelas in the landfills.  Someday that could be everybody- and not just the rediculously poor folk. 

I'm not good at debating.  I'm not going to throw out a bunch of nerdy facts.  But I can tell you that during the summer - I hate going out because the air tastes and feels so chemically that I can't breathe.  And that I've seen the lake that my grandparents cabin is on grow smaller and smaller (and that's not just because I've grown up).  And it makes me sad to think that people close to me have gown out and actively participated in the extinction of an animal because their company told them that was the best place for a pipeline that will only provide 10 years of gas or something like that. 

We should all do what we can to try to preserve what we have.  People do what they can to financially secure their way of life - shouldn't we be trying to do that physically too??

I'm not a perfect rolemodel of course.  I leave my computer on all the time and forget to turn out lights, and I really like eating hamburgers and wearing leather jackets.  But at the very least I recycle and I ride the bus to work most days, and I'm trying to grow a garden of herbs this year (and hopefully some vegetables). 

So please take a moment to think about what the Earth has given to you and what you can do to give back to it. 

It's been oddly quiet around here

And by around here, I mean my blog...obviously.

Yesterday I got to skype with my oldest friend in the world and she said that she checked out my blog to see what was going on and I hadn't posted in a while.  Guilty as charged.

It all kinda started with the snow.  Snowmageddon, Snowfecta, whatever you want to call it.  Like most of the DC area, I was stuck for a week and a half in my house - and it wore me down.  Here is a quick summary:

• Day 1 (Friday): Boss wants me to work from home, but look - 4 hour early leave, that means I can quit working at 1.
• Day 2 (Saturday): I can't see anything outside my door.  I'll play Beatles Rockband.
• Day 3 (Sunday): I learn my sister doesn't have power.  I'll play Beatles Rockband some more.  Yay, no work tomorrow.
• Day 4 (Monday): Sister still doesn't have power - she's coming over (her power returns shortly after she arrives).  Yay! company.  Bake cookies with Allie.  Make yummy dinner. yay! another day off tomorrow. [notice that I'm using small letters]
• Day 5 (Tuesday): I'm going to make crepes for breakfast, but sister wants to go home before the next round of snow.  I'm running out of diet coke and easy mac.  ummm...no work again.
• Day 6 (Wednesday): I'm just going to leave my lights off all day and play sims.  I feel pasty. When is OPM posting if we have work.  I'm falling behind schedule. I haven't gone behind the driveway in over a week.
• Day 7 (Thursday): They're (my friends/landlords) are making a run for the store - maybe they will stuff me in their trunk  - although all I need is diet coke.  OMG - civilization (aka grocery store)  I need to buy EVERYTHING!  G-D-it.  Metro isn't running my bus and my car won't drive in this crap.  Can't go into work tomorrow!  Grrrrr!  I'll just have to work from home.
• Day 8 (Friday): Lalala - working from home.  This sucks. I miss people.  And it's supposed to effing snow this weekend in NC meaning that I won't get to visit my mom for my birthday.  Snow can bite it. [End with total meltdown and primal scream that make my friends/landlords run over to see what is wrong]

As you can see, my attitude got progressively worse as time went on.  I really did melt down on that last Friday because the supposed last bit of snow forecasted convinced my sister that we would be safer staying in the area instead of going to see my mom for my annual birthday trip (in my mind, my birthday hasn't happened because I haven't celebrated with my mom and my gifts are all at her house).  This genuinely gutted me.  And it took me over a week before I could actually cheer up.

I think part of it was being stuck in the house reminded me so much of the depression I fell into about 6 months after Chris died.  Then I didn't leave the house at all if I didn't have to.  I went to work, came home, kept the lights off, put on my pj's and went to bed.  It was a lot like that by the end.   I ended up abandoning all the work I had done with FlyLady and Weight Watchers (haven't been back there in 4 weeks now - will be going back this next Saturday).

But my attitude is improving.  My sister was a lifesaver and convinced me that my birthday deserved sushi at Kawatas and not wallowing at home on a Friday night.   And that Saturday I went to Fredricksburg to cook with my friend Susan (that was the first day I drove my car in over 2 weeks) and Sunday was cooking club.  Then we had our first full week of work - where I have a window office that lets in sunlight past 5 pm now (Huzzah for longer days).  And this weekend I straightened out my house so that some friends could come over and it didn't take all day because I remarkably hadn't let all of FlyLady go to rot.  So things are getting better. 

So my next goal is to pick up the regular blogging again.  If you haven't noticed - it generally falls to the wayside when I feel like crap.

So that is what happened over the past couple of weeks.

I'm apparently bringing the sexy back

According to Urbandictionary.com - Emily is a slang term for a highly attractive and sexually intriguing individual OR The most beautiful person in the world. Often referred to as a Goddess. Has eyes that one can easily get lost in. A great friend that cares about people and makes the world a better place. Easy to love too.  (Thanks to Captain Brenda for looking this up for me since urbandictionary is blocked at work). 

I think I may need to make a plaque or something with this - because reading it makes me feel good about myself.

This is really good because yesterday was the first day of this year that I came home and called my mom and said, "I don't know if I can keep all this goodness up."

You see - yesterday I had a crap day at work.  On top of that, I had to deal with a headache and sinus pressure all day - making me think that I may be getting sick (quite possibly an ear infection that I caught from the kiddos next door).  And I wasn't really hungry for anything in particular - I just hungry. So I ate, and I ate, and I ate.  I went through close to all of my weekly points last night. 

While I might be able to save this week (although I probably won't be going to my meeting if we are supposed to be getting as much snow this weekend as they are predicting), it bugs me that I let my emotions take control of my eating last night.  This morning I did try to make up for my gluttony by shoveling out my car first thing (although it may not count because I was planning on driving to work anyways and that requires me shoveling out the car.)

But back to Urbandictionary - while not everything in that definition may not necessarily be true, I think it does actually capture some of my good traits (like great friend, easy to love, makes the world a better place) that I sometimes overlook.  I need to remember these things on the days that get me down.  Maybe if I do that, I won't need food to make me feel better.

Managing Expectations

I must thank Mother Nature for holding off her snow storm until after my Weight Watcher's meeting had started.  I was able to weigh in and go to my meeting.  I lost another 2 pounds this week for a total of 10.4 pounds loss.  I am now less than 5 pounds away from my 5% goal.  Back when I did WW before - they didn't have the 5% goal - just a 10% goal.  That was frustrating because the weight was falling off in these bitty increments and no matter how much I lost - I just never hit 10%.  This is I call the magic number goal because its at this goal that you get together with your leader and you decide what you want your ultimate weight loss goal to be.  It made me sad not to reach it before - but I know that I am going to do it this time.

One of the things I have been worried about this time around is my rate of weight loss.  It feels like it is coming off really quickly.  If I remember correctly - it almost took me 3 months to take 10 pounds off before.  It came off in these .10 and .50 pounds increments.  Now its coming off in about 1.5 and 2 pounds.  I have a feeling that at some point its going to slow down again.  I need to be careful to not set my expectations to losing 2 pounds every week so that when it does slow - I won't feel frustrated and give up.

It definitely helps having this blog and knowing that my friends are reading it.  You guys provide a lot of encouragement.  So I want to say a big "Thank You!  You Guys Are Rockstars!!!"  Without you, this journey wouldn't be possible. 

The only favor I ask of you guys though is that when things do get a little slow and I get frustrated - give me a virtual bitch slap and remind me that I expected it and that I can work through it.  I would really appreciate that.