I so want a quarter pounder

First a little background information on me:

Right before Christmas I lost someone I love, someone who no one expected to die because he was young. I didn't really want to talk about that experience here because it's just not the place. Here is what is pertinent about his death though - Neither he nor I were taking very good care of ourselves. We ate out a lot - especially foods that were pasta-y, cheesey, meaty (I probably did that more than him), and not very vegetable-y. We drank our fair share of soda and other sugary drinks. We fell asleep in front of the tv, and we didn't really exercise. Needless to say his death served as a kick in the pants. I joined Weight Watcher's on January 2nd and have been trying to improve my health. But like my leader says, "you didn't put on all this weight in a week, you're not going to take it off in a week."

I'm going to be honest with y'all. I started out WW weighing 310.8 pounds. To date I have lost a net 8.8 pounds. I'm obviously hoping that I will eventually lose a lot more.

Some days are really hard and in order to keep me on track I have to ask myself, "Am I ready to join my boy in heaven?" The answer is a difinitive NO.

We've been talking about triggers recently at WW. Trigger foods, Trigger events, Trigger feelings. Today I am having trigger feelings. If this was the SATs, the question: I am having family issues today which are making me feel a) worried b) angry c) guilty d) ALL OF THE ABOVE. The correct answer would be D. And that really makes me want a quarter pounder. But if I get a quarter pounder I will want some fries. And then I will want a quarter pounder this weekend, and then another one all next week. It'll just snowball, and next thing you know I will be back up 8.8 or more pounds.

Instead, I opted to drink water. A lot of water. And chew gum. And I chose to write in my blog. And now that I have gotten this all out, I feel a lot better. Although - maybe tonight I will buy a box of the new WW double chocolate snack bars. Those are delish - and there aren't a lot of things that even a little bit of chocolate won't make better.