Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Finding a groove

At the beginning of this year, I lost my book club.  While I haven't lost the good friends from that club, I really missed the routine of one Sunday a month getting together with these girls, talking about books, eating, and gossiping about all matters of things.

There was also the dread that without bookclub, my life was pretty boring.  Book club was my only real social activity I had left.  Not that I wasn't social.  I get together with friends all the time.  Just that - book clu was the only scheduled thing I had left.  I hadn't joined any other organizations after Jaycees (and I don't regret that either) because I wanted to spend more time improving myself instead of others.  I find it way too easy helping others instead of myself.  Anyways - without book club, part of me felt like a loser. 

So I found another one.  This new club is run by another friend, Susan, who had actually been in the other club at one time.  It has a very different structure and it has way more ladies.  

My first meeting I was overwhelmed.  It was a lot to take in.  Actually, I'm still overwhelmed, but it gets easier with every meeting.  It's very difficult coming into a group that has been together for a long time.  They know each other's history pretty well - I'm still learning names.  And then there is the internal debate about what do I disclose about my past history.  For instance, in the latest book we read - there was a funeral for a husband and this scene fascinated me - mostly because of my history, but I stayed quiet about it. 

Anyways - I'm beginning to find my groove there.  I had a blast, and I was actively contributing and not afraid to laugh or disagree.  I still have a ways to go before I totally feel like a  part of the in crowd, but I do think that I like it there.  Change is good.

P.S.  If any of the girls in my book club read this, I just want to say thank you for including me and I really look forward to getting to know everyone better.

1 comment:

Kate/Susan said...

I'm proud to have you as a member, Emily. :-D

I think you already feel like a member of the family. Of the original club members from when the club formed 6 years ago, I am the only member left. Dustina was in the first year and dropped out until last year. Lauren joined mid-year the first year. Everyone else joined the 2nd year or later. So everyone else has been exactly where you are. :-) You're doing great and I'm so happy you're enjoying yourself. And just think, in a month, you won't be one of the two newbies any more!