To put things gently, I have a tendency to keep things. A lot of things. At one point I said to my friend, "I'm worried that I may be one of those hoarders on tv." She told me that I had nothing to worry about because unlike them - I realize that things are messy and start to do something about it on my own. I can't decide if that's really comforting.
I ended up keeping a lot of things when Chris died. There were all the gifts I got him for Christmas. Then the gifts he got me. There were the ornaments to the Christmas tree. There were some movies that were sentimental. His mom sent half his pantry home with me. And there were about 8 bags of clothes.
Yes, clothes, ranging from button down shirts, t-shirts, socks, etc. At the time I was desperate for his scent. At the urging of my therapist, I actually took one of his shirts and sealed it in a plastic baggie in order to preserve that (it's not mentally healthy to do that if the person is alive though). By now the only thing that shirt smells like is that bag. And I think for the first year after he died, I was wearing something of his everyday.
So I'll bring you to yesterday. I decided to make bread. Important thing when making bread is that at a couple of points you let the bread sit and rise. To do this, you have to cover it up with some kind of cloth so that the bread can breathe but that it also doesn't catch a draught. Most recipes call for a dish cloth, but unfortunately mine were all in use. So what to do. It was then that I remembered that I have all these undershirts from Chris. They've been sitting clean in a drawer for almost a year now, and I figure that they will be ideal because undershirt fabric is designed for wearers skin to breathe but thick enough to keep other things out. So I grab a shirt and a knife and rip it at the seams. My main thought is - isn't this resourceful.
It of course worked like a charm (the actual bread recipe is another matter). So I'm telling my mom about my cleverness. To my surprise, my mom says, "That is really just so sweet. It's like a little bit of Chris was hugging your bread and keeping it warm." This is unexpected because in general my mom usually doesn't bring him up, especially in such a sentimental way. Usually its something that I mention.
I like my mom's thought. I like that my mom brought it up, but the thing that makes me happier is that it wasn't my first thought.
I'm finally at the point where I am ready for these things just to be my things, and not reminders of him. The things I want to keep are the things that I have great uses for - like his socks are excellent for wearing with boots because the prevent them from chafing my legs, and I love wearing some of his bigger t-shirts as pajamas. But I know that one day these socks will wear out and I will have to throw them away or that when I finally start dating again - I will probably have to get rid of many of these "other guy" clothes because it'll just be too weird to keep them. It's been a long time coming to this point, and at times I never thought I would get here, but its a relief to know that I have made it. Because I'm finally getting to the point where I am really ready to move on.
Monday, January 4, 2010
Water. Part Deux
I think I wrote about water back in 2008. Back then I wasn't getting enough. The truth is I'm still not getting enough.
I get daunted by the fact that at a minimum I should be drinking 6 glasses of water and ideally that number should be 8. That is a lot. I'm not even sure if I drink that much liquid daily anyways. But lately I've been feeling really dehydrated.
So this week at WW, the whole theme is goals and at the meeting we actually had to come up with acheivable short term and long term goals. So I decided Water consumption needs to be my goal. Specifically - that I will drink 4 glasses of water at home daily for a week. The point of this goal is to get me in the habit of drinking it at home, making sure that I refill my brita filter, yada yada.
So one of the things I'm doing is making sure that I have a glass of water beside my bed whenever I go to bed and that I drink it before I fall asleep. This is something I have actually picked up from my old boyfriends. They both used to do this. I don't know if its a guy thing - like they know that the night makes people super parched or what. Chris would fill up one of those big plastic water bottles to the top, and by the morning the water would be mostly gone or completely gone. Evil Mike on the other hand, filled regular glasses and then placed said glasses on top of my wooden nightstand sans a coaster - ruining the top of said nightstand. While I don't think I can drink a whole water bottle of water like Chris, I've made sure that I put my glass on top of a coaster unlike Evil Mike.
So far I've made it through the first day. Onto day 2 of the great water challenge.
I get daunted by the fact that at a minimum I should be drinking 6 glasses of water and ideally that number should be 8. That is a lot. I'm not even sure if I drink that much liquid daily anyways. But lately I've been feeling really dehydrated.
So this week at WW, the whole theme is goals and at the meeting we actually had to come up with acheivable short term and long term goals. So I decided Water consumption needs to be my goal. Specifically - that I will drink 4 glasses of water at home daily for a week. The point of this goal is to get me in the habit of drinking it at home, making sure that I refill my brita filter, yada yada.
So one of the things I'm doing is making sure that I have a glass of water beside my bed whenever I go to bed and that I drink it before I fall asleep. This is something I have actually picked up from my old boyfriends. They both used to do this. I don't know if its a guy thing - like they know that the night makes people super parched or what. Chris would fill up one of those big plastic water bottles to the top, and by the morning the water would be mostly gone or completely gone. Evil Mike on the other hand, filled regular glasses and then placed said glasses on top of my wooden nightstand sans a coaster - ruining the top of said nightstand. While I don't think I can drink a whole water bottle of water like Chris, I've made sure that I put my glass on top of a coaster unlike Evil Mike.
So far I've made it through the first day. Onto day 2 of the great water challenge.
Sunday, January 3, 2010
Cindarelly
Back in high school I did this sumer architecture boot camp for teens that helped me realize that I really didn't want to be an architect. One of the assignments was to take a random architecture based clip art pic and write about it. Basically writing a blog entry. I chose a picture of a building in Tours France. Ok - the picture I just linked to is actually way prettier than the one I used - but then the only copy of I have of the one I used is a Black and White (and I thank this picture owner for letting me link to her picture.) Anyways, here is what I wrote
1) This is obviously based on the Disney Cinderella and not the kick ass Drew Barrymore Cinderella from Ever After. 2) I had some bad grammar in the original - so I've (hopefully) corrected it here 3) Explains a lot about my cleaning philosophy.
Not that I want to keep this cleaning philosophy. I would like to have lots of important guests over, like princes but more likely my friends and fam. It's something that I have decided to work on this year. Thanks to my friend Susan, I am going to try using this plan called FLYlady. It's kinda like Weight Watchers but for organizing yourself.
So far it has my kitchen sink is really shiny.
Cinderella's House -- Did you ever wonder why Cinderalla never complained about cleaning her house? She never told her wicked stepmother, "No, I will not wash all the windows today!" She never would ask her wicked stepmother to buy her a hoover vacuum cleaner for her birthday so that cleaning the floor would be easier. WHAT KIND OF GIRL WAS SHE? But I guess with a house like hers, she would want to keep it clean so she could invite over lots of important guese, like princes. Who knows, maybe she likes cleaning her great big house. It may have been a great stress reliever. At night she could lay down in her bed of straw and say, "It was my cleaning that makes this house shine so bright." What else would a girl who talked to mice say.
1) This is obviously based on the Disney Cinderella and not the kick ass Drew Barrymore Cinderella from Ever After. 2) I had some bad grammar in the original - so I've (hopefully) corrected it here 3) Explains a lot about my cleaning philosophy.
Not that I want to keep this cleaning philosophy. I would like to have lots of important guests over, like princes but more likely my friends and fam. It's something that I have decided to work on this year. Thanks to my friend Susan, I am going to try using this plan called FLYlady. It's kinda like Weight Watchers but for organizing yourself.
So far it has my kitchen sink is really shiny.
Friday, January 1, 2010
Begin Now
Well, my new years eve wasn't what I planned. After a bunch of peoples' urging - I ended up driving to Seneca State Park in Maryland with some friends to visit the light show there and then had dinner. We were back home by 10:30 - and I quickly feel into the deep sleep of a food coma and 1) Missed the ball being dropped 2) Missed eating my 12 grapes at midnight to give me good luck and 3) Didn't get a single cupcake ready for the party (at same friends' house). That means today I was a cooking fiend, trying to get ready some Fancy Mac and Cheese as well as the Cherry Chocolate Cupcakes. The recipes I used were from The Pioneer Woman's blog - technically the Tasty Kitchen site. At one point I did call my mom crying because I was having a cupcake crisis. I had bought the jumbo size paper liners and it was taking the cupcakes FOREVER to bake. She basically said , "Get a Hold of yourself woman! It's just a cupcake." Anyways - I ended up salvaging them and they ended up pretty good. One woman liked them so much that she hugged me. The mac and cheese was awesome too. Like cheese fondue on pasta. Yummy!
I have really grown to love Pioneer Woman's website this last year, but I do realize that if I ever hope to start losing weight again - I got to be careful about how many of her recipies or Tasty Kitchen recipies I embark on. I think I need to limit it to maybe 1 or 2 a week. Unless its like a heart healthy recipie or something like that. Seriously go check out Tasty Kitchen.
Anyways - I'm not really doing resolutions this year. I have likes though. I would like to cook more this year, and I would like to get back on the WW bandwagon. And I would like to get organized. So for the WW thing - its been really hard since they cancelled most of the 7 pm meetings. The ones they do offer are with a leader that I really don't like (yeah - I said it - I'm not a Wayne fan). Anyways - its been really hard trying to arrange my work schedule to get out in time to get to WW. But for some reason this week - I checked out the local area schedules again and found that my favorite leader (Barbara aka Fruit Lady) actually does a relatively local meeting in Falls Church on Saturday mornings. So I'm going to try to start going to those starting tomorrow. Well I guess technically today.
For the organization thing - I am going to try out FLYlady.net. My friend Susan mentioned something about it on facebook the other day and it intrigued me. So there you go. I am now FLYbaby Emtifahp.
Another like I want to do is that I want to blog more. So I'm going to set out some time in every evening to blog before bed.
And so that is how my 2010 is beginning.
I have really grown to love Pioneer Woman's website this last year, but I do realize that if I ever hope to start losing weight again - I got to be careful about how many of her recipies or Tasty Kitchen recipies I embark on. I think I need to limit it to maybe 1 or 2 a week. Unless its like a heart healthy recipie or something like that. Seriously go check out Tasty Kitchen.
Anyways - I'm not really doing resolutions this year. I have likes though. I would like to cook more this year, and I would like to get back on the WW bandwagon. And I would like to get organized. So for the WW thing - its been really hard since they cancelled most of the 7 pm meetings. The ones they do offer are with a leader that I really don't like (yeah - I said it - I'm not a Wayne fan). Anyways - its been really hard trying to arrange my work schedule to get out in time to get to WW. But for some reason this week - I checked out the local area schedules again and found that my favorite leader (Barbara aka Fruit Lady) actually does a relatively local meeting in Falls Church on Saturday mornings. So I'm going to try to start going to those starting tomorrow. Well I guess technically today.
For the organization thing - I am going to try out FLYlady.net. My friend Susan mentioned something about it on facebook the other day and it intrigued me. So there you go. I am now FLYbaby Emtifahp.
Another like I want to do is that I want to blog more. So I'm going to set out some time in every evening to blog before bed.
And so that is how my 2010 is beginning.
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Tonight's Gonna Be A....
Quiet Night.
Seriously. I've decided that I am going to stay home by myself and treat myself to a homecooked meal. Maybe make some cupcakes for tomorrow's party I have to go to. I went to the store last night and got some sparkling wine, some regular wine (it's called Project Happiness, I could start the year with some happiness), and my grapes.
The last time I did this was the NYE 2007. That night I was getting over a mega cold, could barely talk, had to miss going to a friend's NYE party. Instead I stayed home and cleaned. I also called this guy Chris for the first time who I had been talking to on eharmony for a while. We had decided to meet new years day and I was calling to confirm. I remember that he seemed uncomfortable talking on the phone - and I kinda had it in my mind that this probably wasn't going to go anywhere. I then called my friend Kelly and told her that I was going to be in her neighborhood in the afternoon and that I would come by after my date.
I cleaned until about 11:45, then I turned on the tv to watch the ball dropped. As soon as it dropped - I went to bed.
Next day I was feeling loads better. I could talk - with the assistance of hot tea.
Headed out for my date.
In the words of Chandler Bing, "I'm telling you, years from now, school children will study it and call it the best first date of ALL Time." At least for me it was.
We talked for 8 hours. Closed down Panera. It wasn't until I was driving home that I realized that I had forgotten to call Kelly. She was all, "Yo Holmes, where are you? I'm about the send the police out looking for you." but as soon as she heard that I just finished my date - she wanted the deets.
That's the best new years I've ever had.
So tonights going to be a quiet night. I'll cook and clean. I'll eat my 12 grapes at midnight. Then I'll sleep, hopefully ushering a new year in with dreams of peace.
Seriously. I've decided that I am going to stay home by myself and treat myself to a homecooked meal. Maybe make some cupcakes for tomorrow's party I have to go to. I went to the store last night and got some sparkling wine, some regular wine (it's called Project Happiness, I could start the year with some happiness), and my grapes.
The last time I did this was the NYE 2007. That night I was getting over a mega cold, could barely talk, had to miss going to a friend's NYE party. Instead I stayed home and cleaned. I also called this guy Chris for the first time who I had been talking to on eharmony for a while. We had decided to meet new years day and I was calling to confirm. I remember that he seemed uncomfortable talking on the phone - and I kinda had it in my mind that this probably wasn't going to go anywhere. I then called my friend Kelly and told her that I was going to be in her neighborhood in the afternoon and that I would come by after my date.
I cleaned until about 11:45, then I turned on the tv to watch the ball dropped. As soon as it dropped - I went to bed.
Next day I was feeling loads better. I could talk - with the assistance of hot tea.
Headed out for my date.
In the words of Chandler Bing, "I'm telling you, years from now, school children will study it and call it the best first date of ALL Time." At least for me it was.
We talked for 8 hours. Closed down Panera. It wasn't until I was driving home that I realized that I had forgotten to call Kelly. She was all, "Yo Holmes, where are you? I'm about the send the police out looking for you." but as soon as she heard that I just finished my date - she wanted the deets.
That's the best new years I've ever had.
So tonights going to be a quiet night. I'll cook and clean. I'll eat my 12 grapes at midnight. Then I'll sleep, hopefully ushering a new year in with dreams of peace.
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Discussions with myself
It's December 30. Just one more day left of 2009 as well as this first decade of the 21st century.
Back 10 years ago - I was on my final winter vacation during college. My family had moved back to Texas after a two year stint in Fairfax, VA. My mom tried to make a love connection between me and one of her colleagues sons, but it had only resulted in an eerily silent staring match. And I spent New Years Eve with my sister and her friends playing board games and freaking out over the backed up toilet in my parents bathroom (not a pretty site). At that time I had a dog, a pool, and a bedroom I could call my own at my parents house. I also had married parents. If you had asked me where I thought I might be in 10 years - I probably would have said I would be in Texas, probably a stay at home mom trying to raise young kids - preferibly girls so that I could enroll them in the Girl Scouts as soon as they came of age. My life would make sense. I so did not see this decade coming.
My younger self would scoff if today me came to her and said, "In 10 years, you will wake up in Northern Virginia to the sound of NPR. Your dad will be remarried and living in Mexico and your mom will be living on her own in North Carolina. You will have fallen in love one and a half times. A half because the first time may have just been you trying to find a center while your parents marriage dissolved. You won't be married, but you will feel like a widow after the one who were just beginning to dream you were going to marry drops dead of a stroke. You will discover that you are the one in your family who will have a lifelong struggle with depression."
Wow - dark stuff. But then - older me would have to list the good stuff.
"You will discover that you have a tremendous ability for making friends - some of them really good friends. You will have known your best friend for over 18 years. You will discover you rock at your job, but also that you do a good job of balancing your job with your life. You will become an awesome cook - and incredible cupcake baker. You will find out that your mom is your ideal travel partner - and that you love windjammers and summers in Maine. You will begin to figure out your sister and be friends with her because she is awesome and not just because she is the only person you know when you move. You will actually be glad that you don't have kids because you still have a lot of learning to do before you are ready to settle down - but that you still have the ability to influence little ones with all your friends kids. You are incredibly creative and you use that creativity in as many ways as possible. You will become comfortable with the fact that you need to cry sometimes because if you didn't you would explode. You will have been loved by someone who really loved the person you are - and you loved him and all his faults. And although it was cut short, it was real and beautiful - and that's not something everybody gets to experience. But most importantly, you will discover that you are a survivor."
That's a lot.
It makes me wonder where I will be in another 10 years. At this point - I have no vision of where I want to be. Will I have found love again? Will I finally be organized? Will I be able to actually buy clothes in 75% of the stores at the malls instead of just 2? It's tempting to dream about, but I've learned that its kinda best to leave things to fate.
Back 10 years ago - I was on my final winter vacation during college. My family had moved back to Texas after a two year stint in Fairfax, VA. My mom tried to make a love connection between me and one of her colleagues sons, but it had only resulted in an eerily silent staring match. And I spent New Years Eve with my sister and her friends playing board games and freaking out over the backed up toilet in my parents bathroom (not a pretty site). At that time I had a dog, a pool, and a bedroom I could call my own at my parents house. I also had married parents. If you had asked me where I thought I might be in 10 years - I probably would have said I would be in Texas, probably a stay at home mom trying to raise young kids - preferibly girls so that I could enroll them in the Girl Scouts as soon as they came of age. My life would make sense. I so did not see this decade coming.
My younger self would scoff if today me came to her and said, "In 10 years, you will wake up in Northern Virginia to the sound of NPR. Your dad will be remarried and living in Mexico and your mom will be living on her own in North Carolina. You will have fallen in love one and a half times. A half because the first time may have just been you trying to find a center while your parents marriage dissolved. You won't be married, but you will feel like a widow after the one who were just beginning to dream you were going to marry drops dead of a stroke. You will discover that you are the one in your family who will have a lifelong struggle with depression."
Wow - dark stuff. But then - older me would have to list the good stuff.
"You will discover that you have a tremendous ability for making friends - some of them really good friends. You will have known your best friend for over 18 years. You will discover you rock at your job, but also that you do a good job of balancing your job with your life. You will become an awesome cook - and incredible cupcake baker. You will find out that your mom is your ideal travel partner - and that you love windjammers and summers in Maine. You will begin to figure out your sister and be friends with her because she is awesome and not just because she is the only person you know when you move. You will actually be glad that you don't have kids because you still have a lot of learning to do before you are ready to settle down - but that you still have the ability to influence little ones with all your friends kids. You are incredibly creative and you use that creativity in as many ways as possible. You will become comfortable with the fact that you need to cry sometimes because if you didn't you would explode. You will have been loved by someone who really loved the person you are - and you loved him and all his faults. And although it was cut short, it was real and beautiful - and that's not something everybody gets to experience. But most importantly, you will discover that you are a survivor."
That's a lot.
It makes me wonder where I will be in another 10 years. At this point - I have no vision of where I want to be. Will I have found love again? Will I finally be organized? Will I be able to actually buy clothes in 75% of the stores at the malls instead of just 2? It's tempting to dream about, but I've learned that its kinda best to leave things to fate.
Friday, September 11, 2009
while its not great
Last night I was stressed because I had to pick up my car from the shop which meant taking a bus that I don't usually take. I mean - it's not a huge deal, but there is an added bit of stress from not knowing the exact location of where the closest stop was. When I asked the bus driver what the closest stop was to a certain intersection, he looked at me kinda nuts before replying that intersection. great customer service. The service center that I left my car at though had great customer service though, and the total cost actually ended up being less than their estimate (by only a couple of dollars, but that still is lower).
Anyways - car is running much smoother now, but by the time I was out of there, I was really hungry and I couldn't figure out what I wanted to eat. I literally ended up driving all around Annandale trying to decide where to go. I try to justify saying that I just wanted to test out the new and improved Seniorita Cha Cha (that's my car). Finally I bit the bullet and just decided to go to Mickey D's. Really not the greatest choice in the world, but its my go to place when I don't know what the heck I want to eat. It also doesn't help that right now my fridge is like Chernobyl inside and I refuse to put anything new in there until I clean that gross thing out this weekend. It's that gross. (I probably shouldn't be confessing that here).
Anyways - I had 15.5 points left for the day so I took a gamble. Ordered the number 3 medium, went home, and ate it. Now on the bad side - it's McD's and its full of gross fat and sodium and not really nutrionally sound. On the good side - 1) I did not add anything to the meal like I would have a couple of weeks ago (no ice cream cone, no nuggets) 2) it only put me 1.5 points over my point limit for the day. It's not great being over, but at the same time, I made up the points since I did walk about 10 minutes between the bus stop and the garage and did a 20 minute pilates session on my Wii (I don't know if I am strong enough for pilates yet - but it did stretch out my sore muscles really well).
Now I just have to break myself of the habit of going to McDonalds when I don't know what else I want to eat
Anyways - car is running much smoother now, but by the time I was out of there, I was really hungry and I couldn't figure out what I wanted to eat. I literally ended up driving all around Annandale trying to decide where to go. I try to justify saying that I just wanted to test out the new and improved Seniorita Cha Cha (that's my car). Finally I bit the bullet and just decided to go to Mickey D's. Really not the greatest choice in the world, but its my go to place when I don't know what the heck I want to eat. It also doesn't help that right now my fridge is like Chernobyl inside and I refuse to put anything new in there until I clean that gross thing out this weekend. It's that gross. (I probably shouldn't be confessing that here).
Anyways - I had 15.5 points left for the day so I took a gamble. Ordered the number 3 medium, went home, and ate it. Now on the bad side - it's McD's and its full of gross fat and sodium and not really nutrionally sound. On the good side - 1) I did not add anything to the meal like I would have a couple of weeks ago (no ice cream cone, no nuggets) 2) it only put me 1.5 points over my point limit for the day. It's not great being over, but at the same time, I made up the points since I did walk about 10 minutes between the bus stop and the garage and did a 20 minute pilates session on my Wii (I don't know if I am strong enough for pilates yet - but it did stretch out my sore muscles really well).
Now I just have to break myself of the habit of going to McDonalds when I don't know what else I want to eat
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Good Water Retention
This post isn't going where you think its going.
So last week I ordered the game EA Active for the Wii. My friend Susan had been using it and has lost a good deal of weight (she probably has also been better about tracking her food, etc.) It also appeared to be a good mix of cardio to strength workout activities. So it arrived in the mail over the weekend - and on Tuesday I opened it up and started playing.
I don't know if playing is the right word. Maybe I should say training instead. I immediately set out on its 30 day challenge. Chose a trainer and did my first work out. And boy was it a work out. I love Wii Fit - I find it fun and it can be challenging. But it usually takes about an hour or so of playing to work up a sweat (unless you are boxing). I worked up a sweat in about 5 minutes doing EA Active. They do a good job of mixing up the activities so you don't tire out any particular part of your body at any one time - although I will tell you that by the end of your activities you are pretty tired. Each session is broken into about 18 sections and altogether they last for a total of 22-25 minutes. And because it keeps tracks of how you have done in the past, it automatically calculates new goals in terms of calories burned. It can also sense if your form isn't right and will keep that exercise in the future rotation so that you can get better. At the end of the work out it tells you what to expect next time you play.
Thankfully today is a rest day - although I may try out my new Daisy Fuente's pilates game. I have to say I REALLY love all the work out games that Wii has put out.
So what does this have to do with water retention. Well, I think my body is retaining water so it can repair my muscles - which feel SUPER sore today. My feet look a little swollen today and when I put on the new shoes I bought on Saturday, the shoes seemed almost two tight (at least they feel ALOT tighter than when I bought the shoes...I think). But on the other hand, the scale did say I had lost two pounds at Weight Watchers yesterday. This was awesome because it was the first significant weight loss in a long time. And in long time I mean in months!
So last week I ordered the game EA Active for the Wii. My friend Susan had been using it and has lost a good deal of weight (she probably has also been better about tracking her food, etc.) It also appeared to be a good mix of cardio to strength workout activities. So it arrived in the mail over the weekend - and on Tuesday I opened it up and started playing.
I don't know if playing is the right word. Maybe I should say training instead. I immediately set out on its 30 day challenge. Chose a trainer and did my first work out. And boy was it a work out. I love Wii Fit - I find it fun and it can be challenging. But it usually takes about an hour or so of playing to work up a sweat (unless you are boxing). I worked up a sweat in about 5 minutes doing EA Active. They do a good job of mixing up the activities so you don't tire out any particular part of your body at any one time - although I will tell you that by the end of your activities you are pretty tired. Each session is broken into about 18 sections and altogether they last for a total of 22-25 minutes. And because it keeps tracks of how you have done in the past, it automatically calculates new goals in terms of calories burned. It can also sense if your form isn't right and will keep that exercise in the future rotation so that you can get better. At the end of the work out it tells you what to expect next time you play.
Thankfully today is a rest day - although I may try out my new Daisy Fuente's pilates game. I have to say I REALLY love all the work out games that Wii has put out.
So what does this have to do with water retention. Well, I think my body is retaining water so it can repair my muscles - which feel SUPER sore today. My feet look a little swollen today and when I put on the new shoes I bought on Saturday, the shoes seemed almost two tight (at least they feel ALOT tighter than when I bought the shoes...I think). But on the other hand, the scale did say I had lost two pounds at Weight Watchers yesterday. This was awesome because it was the first significant weight loss in a long time. And in long time I mean in months!
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Writing it Down
I have not been a good weight watcher this last year. For numerous reasons. Now I in no means saying that I am striving for perfection. While admirable, I think I am one of those people who set out for perfection and then realize that I've goofed up and can't acheived it - I give up. So I have to retrain my brain and say that I will do what I can and to celebrate that those things have gotten done.
Anyways - back to me not following Weight Watchers. One of the hardest things I find is trying to record everything. Each week at weigh in they give you these small little paper trackers that don't really have a lot of room in them to record anything if you have hand writing bigger than a chipmunk (which most of us have). I've tried doing it online too - and that can be frustrating because they may not have what I want to necessarily want to write down. So I was at the grocery store the other day - going past the school supplies when I spotted the composition books. Now I never really liked studying per se, but I looooooove composition books. I love their solid covers with the crazy black and white designs that you can then color and make your own. I love the black binding tape. And I love the fact that there are no holes in the margin so you can use the whole page, if you want. And best of all - I feel free to write as much or as little as I want in them.
So I bought one - In this case, the cover was already red and black. And I am now chronicling all my eating in there. And what makes it doubly fantastic is that because I have as much room as I want to write in it - I can write down why I think I am eating - what I am feeling when I'm eating. It's like blogging in many ways. And since I can put whatever I want, today I started activity in it too. I think the other great thing about it is that since it doesn't have specific food guidelines in it - I don't feel ashamed when I write down something I ate that isn't particularly good for me.
So yay for the new food journal.
Anyways - back to me not following Weight Watchers. One of the hardest things I find is trying to record everything. Each week at weigh in they give you these small little paper trackers that don't really have a lot of room in them to record anything if you have hand writing bigger than a chipmunk (which most of us have). I've tried doing it online too - and that can be frustrating because they may not have what I want to necessarily want to write down. So I was at the grocery store the other day - going past the school supplies when I spotted the composition books. Now I never really liked studying per se, but I looooooove composition books. I love their solid covers with the crazy black and white designs that you can then color and make your own. I love the black binding tape. And I love the fact that there are no holes in the margin so you can use the whole page, if you want. And best of all - I feel free to write as much or as little as I want in them.
So I bought one - In this case, the cover was already red and black. And I am now chronicling all my eating in there. And what makes it doubly fantastic is that because I have as much room as I want to write in it - I can write down why I think I am eating - what I am feeling when I'm eating. It's like blogging in many ways. And since I can put whatever I want, today I started activity in it too. I think the other great thing about it is that since it doesn't have specific food guidelines in it - I don't feel ashamed when I write down something I ate that isn't particularly good for me.
So yay for the new food journal.
Thursday, September 3, 2009
um - another pound added
Yeah...So not good. I really need to step up my game. But this month is the food for pounds month at WW - where for every pound of weight loss, the CEO of WW will donate a pound of food to a food charity.
I think I've been falling into the trap of complacency. Not good. I keep on telling myself - well I'll start back next week. But I really need to stop doing that.
Maybe I need to be like Bridget Jones on my blog and start posting daily stats on this blog.
I think I've been falling into the trap of complacency. Not good. I keep on telling myself - well I'll start back next week. But I really need to stop doing that.
Maybe I need to be like Bridget Jones on my blog and start posting daily stats on this blog.
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